La Belle Dame Sans Merci

Look-a-Likes! :D

2009-02-09T19:55:00Z

So yeah, sometimes I play this game with my friends, where you do celeb-celeb look-a-likes or people I know-celeb look-a-likes or my personal favourite people I know/celeb-animal look-a-likes, hahahaha. Annnyways. I knew Genevieve Cortese looked like someone or something, and I've finally placed it!

...Drumroll...

Duffy! GC looks like a brunette Duffy! They have the exact same lips. Also, they both have a weird--not entirely unattractive, but...interesting looking--potato shaped heads and large jaw lines! Although, GC has a nicer forehead--~~but I think I like Duffy's cheekbones better~~...On further inspection, I think they also have the same cheekbones! Whoa!...But Duffy wins, because she's legit talented at what she does hahaha.

Although, on some angles, Duffy looks like Dolly Parton or Rebecca Romijn (sp?) and Melissa George--probably because she also looks like Rebecca Romijn. It's probably because they're all blonde hahaha. Hmm...now that I think about it, Duffy looks like a lot of people/things. It might just be because of the hair and style, but I'm seeing some Brigitte Bardot...and in some pictures, a Gremlin! hahahaha.

Actually, speaking of Melissa George...she has a striking resemblance to Eliza Dushku. Hmm, yeah! Damn, I'm on a roll! --And I just have to mention, with that new show out, Dollhouse, with Dushku...I can't say that I believe her in the role. I think she's a pretty girl, I just can't see her playing something as vapid as a person with no personality that can be "programmed" or whatever. I just can't see her classing it up. She always seems very.....90s to me. If you catch my drift.

So here they are...What do you think?

edit: teehee...just for fun (this was an old one I had)

....

For Fuckin' Real.

2008-12-04T08:49:55Z

I am kinda sick of people immediately writing off a guest appearance by a big name like Janet Jackson on SPN. These are the same group of fucking people that message me to sign a petition to get fucking Sarah Blake from season 1 back on the show. Fuck no! They've hired tons of shitty actors and actresses in the past and no one's really complained, actually, people have wanted them to come back! Ellen, Sarah Blake, depending on the mood Bobby.

Everyone's worried that SPN is going "lose it's soul" and they're saying, "oh, I'd rather the show get cancelled for low ratings than see it turn to 'stunt casting' celebs like Janet Jackson--blah!!! Wardrobe Malfunction! I can't look at her without seeing her silver nip cover!!!!" Ugh. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough. 1. I'm calling bullshit on that; I don't want my show to get cancelled. 2. Get the fuck over it. It's not like you've never seen a tit before. Besides, it's not like her baggage will hurt SPN's critical acclaim--wait, what critical acclaim?...Exactly. -- No, just because Ausiello and Matt Mitovich and Kristen from E! feature it in their columns sometimes, does not count as critical acclaim. And as much as I love Demian of TWOP fame, he also doesn't count as a source of critical acclaim.

Everyone's bitching about stunt casting and it looking desperate. Um, who the fuck cares? If the story is well written and the character is well played then what is so fucking desperate about it? And who's to say that the very same storyline will not be played out, but with a lesser name, a lesser talent and subsequently a lesser impact on the viewership if Janet doesn't end up with the role?

Give me a mother fucking break fandom. Fuck.

Oh. And people are like, why don't they get AC/DC on the show? They're fans. What about Quiet Riot? They're fans too. Umm, Janet is a fan of the show. She's been a fan of the metal/horror seen for a while. What, just because they played some corney ass, fuckin' mid-western, "classic rock" bullshit during Dean and Anna's sex scene instead of Janet, it makes her less credible to be on the show? Fact: Janet's music is infinitely sexier and more appropriate for a sex scene than Journey, or whoever that was, ever will be.

Also, at least fucking Janet Jackson would have an actual character with some god damned substance and will actually contribute to the plot--versus the actual stunt casting of walk-ons with AC/DC or Quiet Riot. Because the show makes references to these pop-culture icons all the time, it would be impossible to have them go beyond bumping into the boys and all that lame ass bullshit.

Fuck. This is why I hate Supernatural fans/fandom sometimes. So damn embarrassing.

Kath and Kim

2008-10-27T06:30:03Z

So I watched the first episode of Kath and Kim...

After much negative criticism from the Aussies on GBM and being mostly panned by the critics, I can see why. I get the concept. I can see how it could work, but at the same time not--and particularly why it's not working. From what I've gathered about the original, the whole concept is a bit of a laugh at oneself. A laugh at middle America. The average person who buys a little too much into fads and looks a bit ridiculous, coming from an objective standpoint.

The thing is, I feel like the show's been taken a bit too far from what it's parodying. People can't relate to the characters. They're too ridiculous. Then again, people said the same about Arrested Development, which was genius...but that's a bad example, because it got cancelled (bastards!). But the premise of AD was not to get people to identify with the characters, so again, bad example. What might be better is The Office: US. As much as everyone else on the planet hates this version compared to UK, it's a huge success in America, because people can identify with the characters. They see the characters in The Office in their office. The cast doesn't look like they're from Hollywood--they actually look like they could be sitting in the next cubicle.

The humour in The Office is a nice blend of outlandish, and subtle-awkwardness, but with enough fiction that we can allow ourselves to laugh and say, "Oh glad that's not me!" Or, "Hey what an idiot!" But the writers left enough room for characters that people envied and could project onto. Pam and Jim, for example. Pam is a plain-jane working girl, not particularly gorgeous, but she holds the affections of two men. She's sweet and funny, but also quite unsure of herself at times. She is someone with whom a lot of women can relate. The same goes for Jim. He's a regular guy, in a boring 9-5 job. He's witty, athletic, funny--he's the kind of guy people gravitate towards at the water cooler and want to be. Men like him and women adore him--because for all his charm and sweetness, he only has eyes for one woman. There's also something to say about the way people have been able to connect with these characters. They care about them. Fans cared for three years about whether or not Pam and Jim were getting together, or if Jim would have his heart broken permanently if Pam married Roy. It's terribly cliche, but it was the clincher for the series.

People want to laugh at the people around them, it takes a lot to truly laugh at yourself when you're being protrayed as this plain-jane, uncultured middle-American with a less than stellar future ahead. America takes itself way too seriously to really have a laugh at itself in this way, I think. I know some people will argue against this, but look at the other American television shows that poke fun at people, sitcoms, with regular guys that have gorgeous trophy wives (Kevin James, I'm looking at you). He might be a bit of a loser, but his wife sure is hot. I mean, you can laugh all you want, but at the end of the day he's a winner.

Kath and Kim are too tacky. Too superficial. They're not sympathetic or identifiable enough. Because their "normal" reactions are already absurd, their absurd reactions are outrageous and not in a good way. And let's face it--Molly Shannon and Selma Blair are too pretty for anyone to be able to truly relate. As cheesey as they seem, they still manage to work it out in their crazy outfits. And their language, like Juno trying to be too trendy-indie-cool is trying too hard to be cheesey-tacky-dumb. There's just not enough people who make fun of the Valley. Not enough people from California to recognize this as something that real people do.

The term "Bogan" was used to describe the Aussie Kath and Kim, and in America there's already red-neck jokes, but Kath and Kim are supposed to be cousins of this genre--like suburbanites from Ohio, or Western New York. It's just having trouble translating to people. They're supposed to be finding what is funny out of the ordinary. Parodying real life--but there has to be enough subtlety for it to make sense. I'm hoping they find their way. Selma Blair and Molly Shannon are really hilarious and the premise can work; they just need to find a balance.

Why do I watch Shitty TV?

2008-04-09T01:26:16Z

I'm not gonna lie, a lot of Roswell was really corney and pretty lame.

I'm a fan though. Something about trash tv. But I mean, it all seemed very contrived to me, and very 'ship driven, which is frustrating. I think they completely underutilized Tess. The handling of her character, the direction the showrunners decided to go on contingent upon fan-reactions (which were largely influenced by ship support) was the worst case of character assassination I've ever seen on television--right up there with Gilmore Girls and Christopher (again, largely influenced by ship support).

Honestly, these kids are supposed to be 16-18 years old. No one is ever that into one person that much. It was terribly cliché.

I also found the utter dismissal of the alien-plot to be rather ridiculous. It made me quite upset with the characters, with their utter selfishness and dismissal of responsibility. I personally, would have loved to see this storyline progress and develop further. It was all--ohhh what's my destiny? What are we? I want to know everything! -- Oh sh-t! I take it back and don't want to help anymore. Let's all forget this ever happened. Quick--teen drama!

Also, sorry to fans of this character, but Alex was too many kinds of lame for my tastes. Dude was soooo not pretty enough for Kat Heigl.

As for season 3...well, let's just pretend that never happened. I still can't believe the writers gave Liz alien powers. Ugh. Give. Me. A. Break. I can just see them all swooning, <i>"Oh, now Max and Liz really <b>are</b> the OTP!!!1!11one!!1one!!1"</i> I think I just really have a problem in general with the Liz character. Saint Liz as she seemed to be portrayed in my eyes. The doe-eyed brunette was the prettiest, sweetest, smartest girl in school. Gosh darn! How can you not postively turn into a puddle at her feet? Ugh. Now, I know some people say, "Oh she wasn't a Joey Potter! She just had Max!...and Kyle...and Maria's cousin...and 'Dupe' Rath." Oh, and she wasn't the smartest. She wanted to get into Harvard, but all we know is she's good at science! Please. No one should harbour elite Ivy League notions unless they're the best at everything. Especially if they come from a school like the one portrayed in Roswell. Honestly, has it been that long since any of the writers went to university? Do you really expect me to believe that?

The characters were just really, really weak to me. I really didn't like any of them, except perhaps Tess, Kyle was alright to an extent. At least he acted like a real red-blooded teenaged male. I liked the family dynamic between Kyle, Tess and Valenti.

Max - One, true leader of the pack. Strong and silent type. Falls for girl he should never really have. Fights destiny to be with said girl, even when other girl in destiny is pining over him. Thankfully, by some twist of events, said destiny girl turns out to be evil allowing our brave, albeit dark and confused, hero can make his own destiny! Usually with the starry-eyed 'help' of non-destiny-I-make-my-own-destiny-girl. And by 'help' I mean the magical sex that will forever bond the two together.

Michael - Sidekick extrordinaire. Rebellious; at times showing glimpses of great leadership ability--may or may not try to usurp the throne. If so, he is thankfully, by some turn of events, he is stopped, realizes the error in his ways--or is revealed to have been under some other influence--and is ultimately redeemed, and again shown his permanent place as second banana. Also has an OTP, although will likely be much rockier than our hero's 'ship, but will prove to be a modicum more entertaining. Will likely be the typical on-again, off-again I-love-you-I-hate-you relationship. Also, we usually get more sex out of this one. He's more firey and fun.

Isabel - B-tchy older sister, control freak. Cool girl, smart, pretty, involved, potentially witty--cold. But falls for the geek! (Fanboy fantasy, anyone?) Ultimately uneventful. Fairly lame. As responsible as she is, she too refuses to step up to the plate. Sex-wise? Well, I did say this one was the frigid-b-tch. If OTP#3 goes as indicated below, OTP will never consummate their undying love--because one will die. As a result will be haunted by death of would-be lover.

Maria - Snarky, comic-relief, but pretty enough to play no. 2, but loyal enough to never get between OTP#1 (see non-threatening female friend Original Cindy: Dark Angel, Willow: Buffy, Suki: GG--these characters are either fat, married (or in a dedicated relationship before the OTP#1 is set into motion) or a lesbian). And, as is written in the stars, fills in the role for OTP#2, fittingly enough, with the hero's no.2. Not particularly significant, but is more entertaining than the heavy drama of OTP#1.

Alex - Fanboy cum writer projecting, and living vicariously through this character. Is often the surprise hero with through the use of his brains. Is often to clever for his own good, and may meet his demise--or become significantly injured and thus further endeared to the audience for his bravery inspite of his lacking physical attributes--because of his extreme intelligence, or knowledge of a "geeky" topic, often rendered useless. Likely will get with coolest, typically pretty girl, who is a frigid b-tch until he warms her heart, won't last due to tragedy or actor request to leave--usually resulting in the writing of a tragic end to this character. (See Zander and Cordelia, Buffy)

HILARIOUS! Women are Evil...No, we're clever. Ha!

2008-03-28T15:46:20Z

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender.. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, handsoap, or paper towels in the ladies room." ...

WHAAT?! Banners...Roswell and Emilie de Ravin

2008-03-19T06:56:45Z

Roswell Pics and a rant...in French

J'ai recommencé mon interest en l'emission Roswell, après j'ai lit un pièce de fanficion de Jayta s'appelle « Loving Destiny » -- C'est phé(accent là?)nome. Ainsi, j'ai fait ces pièces d'art--j'éspere que vous les aimez. Mes caracters favourites sont Michael et Tess. Max était ... alésage, particulairement quand il était avec Liz. Blech. Et Isabel, pour quelque raison incroyable, aimait le personne, Alex de Colin Hanks. ...Erm, Colin Hanks est...comment dites-vous « fugly » en français? HAHAHA! Je pense qu'il regarde comme un Trekkie. Quelque fois, je sense que ce « pairing » était de plus en plus un fantasie d'un pauvre fanboy-écriture, où la belle princesse extraterrestre aime le seul fanboy. Blech. J'aime l'histoire des extraterrestres le plus. Mais, peut-être parce que c'est un emission sur le WB, c'était plus comme Dawson's Creek...et je n'aime pas ça trop beaucoup.

Aussi, bien que, oui--vous faites votre route en vie, mais quelque fois, vous avez besoin « step up to the plate! » Je trouve beaucoup de temps, quand je regarde cette emission, que je suis frustré avec les caractères, parce que ils sont lâches. Ils faisaient les raisons comme-- « Oh! Je ne peux pas retourner parce que ce n'est pas mon vie maintenant! J'ai un vie ici!!! » waa, waa, waa. Ou, « Oh, il y a un nouveau gouvernement là qui veut tuer moi, ainsi, c'est meilleur si je reste ici. Ils peuvent se sauver. » Beaucoup de temps je trouve que les caractères sont égoïstes. Ils ont créé spécifiquement pour le raison que ils ont échoué le premier fois comme redevance, et ils sont donner un deuxième opportunité de la fixer. Le situation est plus grande que soi-meme, mais ils ignore ça. Argh. Je crie « COUILLON! » et c'est geulle(sp?) -- cheesey aussi. Mais, il y a quelque chose avec cette emission que j'aime. Peut-être c'est seulement que j'aime les emissions mal! hahaha.

Aussi, désole pour mon français. C'est mal--je sais, mais j'ai eu un recommander, donc j'ai écrit en français!

À plus tôt!

DA Drabble? Hehehe: Masochist

2008-03-13T06:49:16Z

So this is too short to actually be a fic. Maybe I'll turn it into a series of drabbles. Who knows? But, because of it's size, I won't be posting it anywhere but here--for now. We'll see what happens.

***
Alec

Why do I love her? Well, she's my version of perfection, I guess. No one else would call her perfect, but to me she is the very definition of the word. She's fiery, kick-ass, sexy--I mean, come on now--and smart, if a little lacking in some common sense. The mess between her and Logan just makes things complicated--he's a love sick puppy wrapped around her little finger, and she's obviously miserable, which doesn't hurt just her. But me?...Well, I'm just waiting for my turn. You know, even if she takes everything out on me when she's upset or stressed, the bruises are worth seeing her smile and hearing her laugh. But maybe I'm just a masochist.

***
Max

Why do I love him? Well, he's pretty much as close to perfection--genetically enhanced or not--as I've ever been. No, he's not perfect; I just said he was close. I mean, the guy can piss the hell out of me like no other, and manages to attract bullets like a duck at target practise; but he makes me laugh. Sometimes I get jealous, not that he'll ever know that, about all the women he attracts and takes home. But there's some consolation there; because for all of those women, I'm the constant in his life...though I try to avoid the gory details he so loves to share. I guess I'm just waiting my turn. But maybe I'm just a masochist.

***
Mole

You know, those two are idiots. For all of their genius IQs, military training, and super-spy capabilities, they can't seem to notice they're head-over-heels in love with each other. She bitches and moans; he pisses her off and takes a beating to let her relax a little. He flirts with a girl and she gets greener than a shamrock. They're falling all over each other, but can't seem to get their heads out of their asses. But maybe they're just masochists and this is a really twisted version of foreplay. You know, I really wouldn't put it past them.

End...I think?

Reviewing

2008-03-10T01:41:44Z

So I know I'm griping about nothing, but it's really bugging me.

I recently wrote a new fic, called Regret for Dark Angel. It was depressing, I admit. But I thought it was pretty decent, or else I wouldn't have posted it. Of the handlful of reviews I've received from the 4 different locations I posted it at most seem to really like it. I dunno. Maybe it was too depressing? I've gotten 4 reviews at ff.net--all of whom seemed to like it, or at least bullshitted their review pretty well-- which is really discouraging. I don't know. I'm not asking for 1000 reviews or anything, but I'm used to like 10, I would be satisfied with 10. Even if you think it's shit, or if there's an error--a negative feedback is better than no feedback at all. Or at least it is for me.

The last fic I wrote, Okay, I have to admit was a cheesey little blob. Corney, fluffy, blah--and yet there is more feedback on that...is that what people really want to read? Really?

I think I write okay. I think I capture the characters decently well. And I really think that this was my best writing yet. I even went back and re-posted another edited version, since I found some flow problems I didn't like a couple typing errors. Also, I reformatted the style on ff.net, because it was being a bitch. I actually had a lot of trouble with that stupid thing.

Anyways...yeah. And the thing was, this was a ficathon response. You'd think that there would be some feedback on it, or something. But nothing, nada. I don't know why I bother. It really is pissing me off. It's a ridiculous thing to get riled up about, but I am.

Blah.

Favourite Commercial Ever

2008-03-09T17:23:13Z

Hahaha. I rediscovered this while browsing on You Tube last night. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Oh A&P!

This is the A&P baguette commercial from a couple years ago, I think. Distinctly Canadian. hahaha!

Dark Angel Fanfic - Regret

2008-03-06T18:58:03Z

Pairing: Max/Alec
Word Count: 2478
Rating: PG13
Warning: Character death

Author's notes: Witten for the jam_pony_fic ficathon (I don't know if we're supposed to post them or not...?). For alyse, whose prompts were:

1. Max and Alec, first time. I'd like something slow and sweet, with the idea that first Max grows to trust him, then to care for him, and that the feeling is mutual.

2. Alec, Original Cindy and Joshua save the world! Preferably Max/Alec but I'll take gen :) Also, if you manage to get Normal saving the world alongside them it would entertain me muchly.

3. Joshua and Alec friendship fic, building on the idea that Joshua is the only one who really sees Alec. Again, preferably Max/Alec but it doesn't need to be in your face and can be gen if you'd prefer.

I think this is pretty angsty, I don't think it's exactly what she may have been hoping for, but hopefully you enjoy it anyways. Oh, and I chose to do a little bit of the first and third one. Unfortunately there's no smut here. There may be a rewrite in the future, but I'm just not in the right mood to write smut right now.

A/N 2: This is also in response to the Raising Hell prompt : "They say dreams are necessary to life."

Summary: Post FN. Family was all that Max wanted, but what happens when all that she had left, she drove away?

***

It was bound to happen and one day, the wind caught the news and told her it was true. When Alec left she knew she had done him wrong. She sent him out to meet his death.

***

“Get out. Get out and don’t ever come back.” She raged at him, thoughtlessly, carelessly. She didn’t see his hurt. She refused to turn and see him plead, “Max. I’m sor—”

Her anger, frustration and despair wound her tightly and she cut him off, “Don’t speak. I don’t want to hear it. The past can’t be undone—but I can change what happens tomorrow. I want you to leave.”

Hearing the finality in her tone, and with his own guilt and grief threatening to consume him at any moment, he conceded.

“Okay.”

***

She wanted to hate him for so long, blame him for everything. Everyone that had made her normal was gone: Cindy, Sketchy, Logan, Asha—even Normal. They left for Canada so long ago that the mention of their names only drew faint memories of times she thought were happier. He made them go.

***

“Max, listen to yourself. You’re being selfish.” He tried to make her see reason as she paced around the small office, her anger uncontainable with potential energy.

“We’re not running, Alec! No one is leaving. We stay and we fight.”

“This isn’t their fight! Don’t you get that? They aren’t part of the “we” here. We need to let them go.” He desperately wanted, needed, her to understand—so she wouldn’t hate him.

But Max, ever stubborn, did her best to oppose, even when he knew she understood, “This is our mess; we’re going to handle it. We can prove we can handle it. No one needs to leave.”

He was getting tired of their argument, “They’re going Max. You’re only thinking about what you want; you’re being unreasonable.”

She raged back, mistaking his weary tone for a verging concession, “Hey! I’m the fucking leader of the damn outfit—you’ll listen to me when I say they are staying.”

But he matched her anger again, “They’re my friends too, and if we ever make it out of this God-damned mess, I want them alive with us and that’s not going to happen if they stay in Seattle…They leave tomorrow before dawn. I suggest you make your rounds and say goodbye instead of wasting your breath on me.” By the end his fury had quieted, and he turned and walked away.

***

Alec and Joshua were the last vestiges of her life before the war, before the great exodus, and now both were gone too.

***

Joshua. Darling, sweet Joshua never had a chance at life. It wasn’t fair. The vibrant, insightful and eternally compassionate creature so longed for a chance to walk the streets without a mask, without fear. He only wished to be able to embrace the life that was promised to him when his only other home was burned to the ground. That chance would never come.

Alec was there with him that day. He would carry his lifeless body back while his own blood spilled onto the floor. But she didn’t see that.

She heard the events unfold over the radio static. Frantic voices, tires swerving on the pavement, and a slew of gun shots that seemed to echo inside her mind at an increasing tempo that threatened to cause her brain to implode if she didn’t find out what happened soon.

The relief she should have felt at seeing her best friend and lover alive was stolen by the picture of the too-still giant lying in his arms. She fell to her knees as the weight of the world seemed to fall onto her shoulders. Alec’s laboured steps towards her seemed to last an eternity. His own face was covered in blood and tears as he wept openly at the loss of his brother. Joshua seemed to know Alec as much as Max did, maybe even more because his calm demeanour didn't allow heated emotions to cloud his judgement. Joshua opened Alec's eyes to the world, to what would become his world, and gave him the world herself—Max.

***

Joshua had cornered Alec in his small apartment, confronting him about his brooding over the past few days, “Joshua knows, Alec. You don’t have to hide.”

As always, Alec tried the escape and evade route, “I’m not hiding anything Josh. There’s nothing to hide… It’ll always be him anyways.”

His voice faded at the final part of his defence. Joshua perked up at that, “So Alec does love Max? Alec just doesn’t trust Max to love him back.”

In that scoffing tone he used to hide his embarrassment Alec answered, “Geez Josh, you’re better than psy-ops at the analysis, aren’t you?”

But Joshua matched it with his own ominous tone that made him seem older and wiser than the naïve and childish artist Max saw him as, “Joshua just sees. Joshua sees his two best friends in love, but scared. Alec talks to Max.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. There’s too much to be done before any of this drama anyways. I—”

“Alec does not understand. There is only now.”

***

That stayed with Alec. There is only now. He had been in love with Max for so long that it became routine to hide it, to dismiss it, to excuse it. But something resonated with him there. He didn’t know when his story ended, or where it ended, he only had now. Alec knew it probably wouldn’t last. Alec knew it would probably end bloody. But Alec knew he wanted to taste her while he still had time.

So, on a night that seemed so long ago to their battle weary minds, Alec went to Max.

“Max? Are you in here?”

“Yeah. What do you need?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to see if you were still up.”

“Alec, it is past 2 am, you should be sleeping. You’ve got work to do tomorrow. I can’t have you lagging here at all hours, because unlike me, you don’t have shark DNA.”

“I know. But I can’t sleep anyways. Too much on my brain I guess. I feel like I’m buzzing.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not much to talk about really.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I get in here and see the news and wonder why we bother. And then I remember OC and Sketch and all of our friends…”

“…Do you hate me for sending them away?”

“I could never hate you.”

“Never say never, Maxie.”

“Alec…I miss them, but I know they’re safer away from here. So laugh it up while you can, because I’m only going to say it once—you were right…and I’m glad you were there to see us through that.”

“You know I love you, right Max? I mean I know I don’t act like it sometimes, but you and Josh…you’re family.”

“I know. ..I love you too. You guys are all I’ve got left.”

“Heh. Well, look at us, all hearts and flowers tonight.”

“I don’t think we could get any mushier if we tried.”

This was dangerous territory. They knew it. They had expressed their affections of familial love more than once, but this wasn’t their pattern. Alec left her desk and moved to drape himself over the old couch facing her. Distance and diffusion. Max went back to her paperwork, and Alec sat quietly with his eyes closed, feigning sleep. But his mind was screaming for him to continue, it wouldn’t last long.

“Max?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you want after all of this is over?”

“Well, you’re just hitting all the hard questions aren’t you? I don’t know, probably a barrel of Mole’s strongest moonshine and a morphine drip for the morning.”

“No, seriously Max. I mean, have you ever really dreamed about what you’re going to do?”

“I dunno. Not really I guess. I mean there’s so much day to day stuff; I guess I’ve never really considered it.”

“What no cures, no rushing up to Canada?”

“No…I mean, I’d love to see OC and everyone again. I’d bring them back, but me and Logan…It’s been almost four years since we last touched. Don't get me wrong, I still want the cure; I’m not particularly fond of the idea that a single touch, an accidental brush on the shoulder could kill him—or anyone really. He’s a good friend, but so much time has passed. We’re different people; I don’t think it would ever work.”

“What about us, Max?”

“Hmm? What do you mean? You’ve got to stop being so cryptic, it’s 2 in the morning.”

“I mean us Max, you and me. Do you think we could work, that we could be like that?”

“Alec—What? Where is this coming from?”

“Forget it. I just…Never mind.”

“Alec, stop! Wait. You don’t get to drop the bomb on me like that and then walk away.”

“Don’t worry about it Max, I get it.”

“Shut up. Stop talking like I don’t care. I do.”

“I think I love you more than I should. And I need to know if there’s a chance…”

“Of course you have a chance. You always have.”

She touched his face softly, tenderly and brought him closer. They had shared chaste kisses before, but they were never filled with the promise of something more; it was never like this. With her lips pressed against his, he felt that promise. When their tongues met he pulled her tighter against him, and she buried her hands in his hair holding him just as close. Before either realized, he was above her on the threadbare couch.

“Max, I love you.”

“I love you too. Kiss me again.”

They made love that night, and in the morning they held each other cherishing the moments they had shared, hoping that they would be granted another day as lovers.

***

Time went on; their situation worsened. There would be no sympathy from the media or the government, but they had each other, and for a while that was all that mattered. It wouldn’t last.

Joshua would be their beginning and their end, and the end came too quickly.

It was a glorious day in Seattle. The weather was mild, the sun shining high and bright, not a cloud for miles. However the sounds of an urban fire fight marred the beautiful day; the blood on the ground stained the concrete where it couldn’t fade into the earth. Joshua shouldn’t have been there.

Alec always told her she babied the gentle creature too much. “He is a grown man,” he would tell her. She wouldn’t listen. Alec, he walked the way he talked, and he let Joshua go with him. He would be there with him when he fell, and for Max, with her emotions clouding her already tired mind, that was enough.

Both blinded by feelings of anger, injustice, guilt and sorrow, they couldn’t find each other. For weeks they drifted apart. But it would crescendo one month to the day. Both were so used to leaning on the other for support in their trials, and when they argued, Joshua was usually there to step in. But he wasn’t there anymore, and they fell.

She sent him away blinded by injustice and sorrow, and he left blinded by his own grief and guilt. But then she was alone and she couldn’t remember why any of this was important.

She tried to justify what she did. She tried to forget their love. She tried to hate him for the loneliness she felt. But she couldn’t. He sent everyone away so they could live to see the end of this war, she sent him away unprotected, heartbroken into the warzone.

As the months passed, Joshua’s death eased its grip on her heart, but no reprieve would be granted as Alec’s absence had her struggling to breathe. They didn’t have the manpower or resources to search for him, so she could only pray to a God that didn’t intend on her existence to return to her the man she sent away.

And one day, He answered her.

It was another sunny day in Seattle. It was like the world rejoiced at her misery, mocked her loss. All retrieved Manticore alumni were sent to a Seattle facility. The transgenics always tried to bring the bodies back to Terminal City, where they could rest without further torture to their oft battered bodies.

That’s where she saw him.

She dropped down from the ventilation and saw his pale face so still. And suddenly she was on the floor. She couldn’t feel anymore. The female X5 behind her dropped in gracefully afterwards and saw her turmoil.

They didn’t have much time; it was a well guarded facility. They had to move fast, but Max sat on the floor unmoving, tears streaming down her face unchecked; her partner moved to retrieve the body.

“No. Don’t touch him”

“Max, we don’t have time. We have to g—”

Finally able to move again, Max stood and said, “No.”

She wouldn't leave him alone again. Max sent her partner back up the ventilation system to get out. There would be at least 8 highly skilled, armed guards on their way soon, and the two man recovery team needed to be fast, light and small to fit into the vents. There was no way of beating the guards head on.

Max moved towards her felled lover, and gently stroked his hair. His freckles were stark against his skin, and she couldn’t see the eyes that once held so much joy and promise and hope. His body was battered. A stab wound to the back was what killed him, but obviously not without a fight, as his bruised body indicated. So she cupped his face one last time and bent to kiss his split, cold lips. Her heart was irrevocably broken.

She crawled onto the table and lay beside him, holding his body, placing her hand over the heart that didn’t beat anymore. She could hear the guards coming, but it didn’t matter. She put her head down beside his and whispered her regret over and over again.

***

They say dreams are necessary to life, maybe that’s why she gave hers up when she saw him. Everything she hoped for, longed for, dreamed about involved Alec. With his death, her dreams died too.

***

Max was counting on the guards to be insensitive, indifferent. The door burst open and the guards saw her, red eyed, tears streaming, but looking determined as she sat up from her spot next to the body of the cold, young man. She reached for her gun, and they shot on point. A bullet to the head finished her as she fell back down and over the body she couldn’t bear to see so lifeless.

Reviews make the world go 'round! Thanks for reading...now review!

Supernatural Renewed! ... Ranting and Raving

2008-03-04T04:41:44Z

Yay! This is a quickie. I'm sure ya''ll have heard about the renewal by now, but I'd just like to spread the cheer! I didn't really have any doubt that Supernatural would be back--especially with the performance of the latest episode, and full-night feature. So yes, we can rest easy this May for the upfronts when the rest of the shows find out their fate. I can't wait for the show to come back already!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for Aliens in America and Reaper. I know a lot of Supernatural fans out there are rooting against Reaper for taking "our" timeslot--but I think that doing that based on principle alone, and completely knocking a show because of that, without giving it a fair shot is wrong. Sure, you can not like a show; I can't change your taste in television, but I just feel like a lot of Supernatural fans are throwing Reaper into the fire based solely on allegations that it is trying to "steal" Supernatural's spot.

I'm kinda thinking that some of the motivation behind this early release of renewals is to try and ease the heat off of the Reaper hate. Now that they've announced that Supernatural is back, maybe the crazy fans will stop the boycott and give another one of their shows a shot. Reaper is the same type of genre show--but much lighter, much more farcical than Supernatural. It's a different animal completely. And no, I don't care that the main character's name is Sam. It's a freakin' name! Who cares?! I'm guessing the show writers and developpers are a lot smarter than thinking that naming their main character the same as another show's main character is going to garner them some instant fans.

I just don't like the idea that so many people--grown adults--are so vehement in their fight to kick a show off the air, and put people out of work. I'm quite disappointed with a large part of the fandom. It's just very juvenile behaviour, I find. From unbiased perspectives I hear very good things about Reaper. I hope it does well. I hope it finds success. But just because I say that does not mean I'm choosing it over Supernatural. I don't believe in dualism--where to like one thing, I have to hate another on principle. That's just ignorance. I'll like and support what I do so choose, based on my own likes and interests.

I'm finding, though, that this is true not only with Supernatural fans and other shows, but within our own fandom. There are Dean!Girls and Sam!Girls who refuse to acknowledge that the show is about two brothers. They turn to personal attacks and even go so far as to insult the actors themselves for simply portraying the character written for them. People are creating drama where there is no drama. One of the reasons why Supernatural is as fantastic as it is, is due to the fact that the cast and crew get along so well. Jensen and Jared are great friends and enjoy their role on the show. I don't understand why people feel the need to split them up and declare war. Why? Because one brother is being "shafted"? Because they think one actor gets more favours than the other? That's just silly. I'm finding I'm getting really fed up with these internal debates and moot points. "Sam gets all the storylines--Dean never gets to do anything!" -- "Oh, everyone loves Dean and Jensen--he gets all the best material! They think Jared is ugly!" Wah, wah, wah.

There is no show without either brother. Each is as integral to the show as the other. Get over yourself and stop blowing things out of proportion. You're not a 14 year old girl with raging hormones (if you are, then I completely understand your reactions, and are as such entitled to as angsty an adolesence as your hormonal self desires--we all get that once in our life).

But yes. That is all I have to say really. I'm quite pleased that Supernatural has been renewed. Congrats Kripke & Co.!

Mad Writing. A Moment of Inspiration that will likely never be completed :(

2008-02-23T23:16:03Z

Okay, so there are, maybe 3 or 4 different fics that I could pull out of here. None are complete, and they're a bit rushed. I dunno. Moment of inspiriation I suppose. Enjoy them for what it's worth, they may or may not be finished. I should really get a beta haha.

The room was silent, except for the near muted noise from the television set. It made him feel like there was always someone there. It made him feel less alone.

His existence was far from solitary, though. He was Alec, genetically empowered, and leader of the makeshift outfit at T.C. Everyday he interacted with people, smiled, charmed, politicked.

He was hardly alone.

But in the darkness of his room, when the new day had hardly broken, he felt the loneliness set in like lead on his body, save his melancholy eyes, which damned him to hours of fruitless contemplation.

Oblivion claimed him just before dawn, but only after hours of willing a dreamless sleep to consume him.

-*-*-*-

It was bound to happen and one day, the wind caught the news and told her it was true. When Alec left she knew she had done him wrong. She sent him out to meet his death.

“Get out. Get out and don’t ever come back.” She raged at him, thoughtlessly, carelessly. She didn’t see his hurt. She refused to turn and see him plead, “Max. I’m sor—”

Her anger, frustration and despair wound her tightly and she cut him off, “Don’t speak. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care what you have to say, because the past can’t be undone—but I can change what happens tomorrow. I want you to leave.”

Hearing the finality in her tone, and his own guilt and grief threatening to consume him at any moment, he conceded.

“Okay.”

She wanted to hate him for so long, blamed him for everything. Everyone that had made her normal was gone: Cindy, Sketchy, Logan, Asha—even Normal. They left for Canada so long ago that the mention of their names only drew faint memories of times she thought were happier. He made them go.

“Max, listen to yourself. You’re being selfish.”

“We’re not running, Alec! No one is leaving. We stay and we fight.”

“This isn’t their fight! Don’t you get that? They aren’t part of the “we” here. We need to let them go.”

“This is our mess; we’re going to handle it. We can prove we can handle it. No one needs to leave.”

“They’re going Max. I don’t care what you want; you’re being unreasonable.”

“Hey! I’m the fucking leader of the damn outfit—you’ll listen to me when I say they are staying.”

“They’re my friends too, and if we ever make it out of this God-damned mess, I want them alive with us and that’s not going to happen if they stay in Seattle…They leave tomorrow before dawn. I suggest you make your rounds and say goodbye instead of wasting your breath on me.”

Alec and Joshua were the last vestiges of her life before the war, before the great exodus, and now both were gone too.

Alec was there with him that day. He would carry his lifeless body back while his own blood spilled onto the floor. But she didn’t see that.

She heard the events unfold over the radio static. Frantic voices, tires swerving on the pavement, and a slew of gun shots that seemed to echo inside her brain at an increasing tempo that threatened to cause her brain to implode if she didn’t find out what happened soon.

The relief she should have felt at seeing her best friend and sometimes lover alive was stolen by the picture of the too-still giant lying in his arms. She fell to her knees as the weight of the world seemed to fall onto her shoulders. Alec’s laboured steps towards her seemed to last an eternity. His own face was covered in blood and tears as he …

One time, her touch brought him comfort. He revelled in it. Now, she was like fire and he’d been burned too many times. He flinched at her touch, shied away from her eyes; his words, once filled with warmth and laughter, were impersonal and all business. She hurt him and she wasn’t sure if she could have him back.

Before I Sleep : Whisper - Artwork

2008-01-22T10:53:00Z

So, I made these for Wildsky's BIS series, specifically for Whisper. I loved dear Rand to death, especially he and Jess, who are really the most magnificent OCs I've ever read. And good grief, for some reason she keeps killing them! Anyways, I hope you like them. I've got a few more in the works while I get a hang of this whole photoshop business. So anyways, here they are, I hope you like them :)

Supernatural Widget - CS

2008-01-20T01:10:10Z

The CWs lackadaisical efforts in promoting SN - Give the fans a tool to do their job. ...And here I am doing it.

Dark Angel Fanfic - Domestic

2007-12-10T08:28:30Z

Domestic

She sat in the darkness, listening to the sound of his breathing. Counting the ceiling tiles had taken over the need for rest. Only in the quiet hours of the night could she reach the sadness of her soul.

At nine she escaped the hell that was Manticore, at nineteen she had her first real relationship, and at twenty-one she was married. Desire for normalcy had made way for dependence and in that time, a part of her eroded. "What would make you happy?" he asked her, only hours earlier. Their argument puzzled her and from the time he laid his head on the pillow, she had been haunted by the question.

Walking over to the large window overlooking Seattle, she saw herself only a year or so prior, riding through the city, laughing, usually with Alec following closely behind...Did she do that with him, Logan, laugh?

"Marry me." His casual demand had surprised her. Only two weeks earlier, they had found the cure. 'They could finally live their life' she recalled thinking. So long ago.

"We can't Logan. There's too much happening right now."

"Says who? There will always be things happening Max."

"I don't know. It seems like too much right now."

"Well, I don't know what the big deal is, I'll be able to help you now that we're together. I'm already doing E.O., and helping out. I'll be able to support both of us...It's got to be now Max, I can't wait forever, not when there is nothing stopping us."

Snapping back into reality by the sudden whine of police sirens in the distance, Max Cale left the window.

When the alarm summoned Logan to breakfast, she had already been up for hours. The near empty coffee pot indicated her lack of sleep.

"So? What is it this time Max? What have I done?"

"Everything is the way it should be Logan. Forget it. Go to work."

His leaving had made her feel empty, though he only moved into the next room. Normally she'd be able to brush off his arrogance, but this time she couldn't.

Panning the kitchen for a familiar image to lose herself in, Max's eye's threatened tears. 'No, not now. There's too much to do.' But she knew that was a lie, there was nothing remaining for her to do here. With her left hand, she instinctively reached for the nearest dishcloth and began wiping the already clean counter top.

Standing alone in the now sterile kitchen, Max poured another cup of coffee, not so much needing it to stay conscious, but to feel the only warm sensation she had experienced in a long time. Stroking the rim of the white demitasse, her vacant gaze fell upon a cheerio, hidden in the corner behind the French door. It had remained there untouched by her furious cleaning habits and yet, knowing it had avoided her efforts, she could not allow herself to remove it.

This is what she had been reduced to. Domestic.

a/n It's a short little intro to the story, it'll work it's way up there, I promise. This is my first WIP, bear with me here. please read and review!...and if anyone is wondering about direction, it should end up M/A, eventually.

a/n(2) 10.12.07 Sorry to all of those who have already read this and may have noticed that I have yet to update. So here's my sad attempt at an explanation: Uh, it was supposed to be a one-shot. I actually amended it to make it less tragic, but I have since had a horrible loss of inspiration for this story. I mean I really love it, it can still go so many ways, but I just can't seem to find a proper focus. Also, I just feel like I wouldn't be able to maintain the same atmosphere in this story. I didn't have much of a plan for this fic, like I said it was supposed to be a one-shot, but I had and still have a ton of ideas for it. I just really love it and don't want to lose that same feeling of suffocation. I like fluff, I write fluff, but I don't want this to be fluff, you know what I mean?
That being said, I haven't given up on it. I still continue to write possible pieces for it, but I don't really want to post them until I'm really satisfied with them. But, hopefully you've enjoyed it, and maybe we'll see an update during/after Christmas vacation. Keep your fingers crossed.

P.S. Reviews really help. Words of inspiration and encouragement are welcome as well as criticisms!

Dark Angel Fanfic - Okay

2007-12-10T08:12:21Z

Okay

“You’ll be okay, I know you will.”

There was a Max before there was an Alec, but there wasn't an Alec before Max; he knew he had to go.

“Let me do this. You’re going to be free Max, really free and happy. You’ll find love Max; you're too loving to everyone else to not have someone love you back like you need.” She screamed and railed against him until she couldn't stand to yell at him anymore. She saw the decision made steadfast in his eyes and she collapsed in his arms, tears screaming her defiance and resignation to his choice glistened from her face. She buried her head in his chest as she clutched onto his shirt as if it were a lifeline.

He held her shaking form close as tears cascaded down his own morose visage. "Shh baby," he cooed as he stroked her hair, "You'll be alright. You’ll be okay. Be strong for me. Smile for me Maxie.”

He should have tasted freedom. If there was someone who deserved it most, it was Alec.

He was wrong though, Max couldn't be Max anymore without him. He had changed and shaped her life in so many ways since he stepped into her cell that first night. A time and place where her heart beat without his was unfathomable, but here she was, alone in her existence.

This is why she didn't let people into her life, and never had she let someone in as deep as she had allowed Alec to. She was open and vulnerable to pain and heartbreak, and in her short life she knew of that darkness too well for someone so young and beautiful.

She shook with sobs, her body weak and dismissive to outside forces who tried to move her. Why she had let him go she couldn't understand, though deep down she knew he would have gone anyways--with or without her acceptance. At least she said goodbye, gave him heart as he walked away from her. But her freedom was overrated. She felt lost and boxed in and unable to move. Chained to her room by her grief, she hadn't left it since he did.

Her throat hurt, her muscles ached, her eyes that once held light and joy when she was in his embrace were bloodshot and swollen from her endless tears. She was cold and the only touch that could have brought warmth would never return to this realm of reality.

His scent grew faint. She felt sick. She inhaled him at every opportunity trying to memorize every part of his being that remained his only legacy.

People came in and out whispering words meant to soothe, but only fuelled her melancholy. What was worse was that with every new body his comforting aroma that once permeated throughout the house was replaced by another.

A week, they told her, since he had passed. It felt like eternity. The seconds dragged on endlessly and the darkness in her life did not seem to lead to a light. Buried under a sea of sheets in their bed where their love had been consummated she closed her eyes in hopes of seeing her fallen lover in her dreams.

He visited her when she fell victim to her own exhaustion.

The cold that had taken over her senses disappeared and she was in the arms of the one she mourned endlessly. She buried her face in his chest and brought her arms up as he held her wholly like a small child curled up in his embrace.

She looked up into his bright face smiling down at her and she felt complete again.

“Alec.” His name came as a reverent sigh as she revelled in his presence. Her surroundings were vague but he was clear in her vision and that was all that mattered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled fully for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime.

“Maxie.” He whispered her name as if it were a sacred word, and then tilted her chin up to look deep into her gaze before finally meeting her lips in a soft sweet kiss.

Her breath was stolen from her lips when they finally parted, still locked in each other's grasp.

“Max, baby, you've got to be good for me.”

Tears formed again, and fell silently.

“How can I be okay? How can you ask me to do that when you're not with me anymore?”

He wiped her tears away with his thumb, and Max nuzzled her cheek into his hand as he caressed her face.

“Maxie, you've got to be okay for us, for our baby.” His hand drifted to her abdomen, “I'm so sorry; I should be there with you.” His breath hitched and his own tears fell as he buried his face into the crook of her neck as he inhaled her scent.

“Baby?” Then she knew. She placed her hand on top of his own above her stomach looked up at his face as he nodded smiling with tears.

“Alec? What if this isn't real? What if this is all in my head and nothing comes out right?” Her words came out in an anxious whisper her eyes wide with hope fading.

He smiled. “Maxie, this is just your head talking to you--” At that she pulled back, devastation etched into every line of her too beautiful face, but he held her there and continued, "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't listen. Trust yourself again Max, and I'll be here waiting when it's time."

Her face broke into another smile so bright his heart was bursting with joy. “All my love, all of our love will be in this baby Max. You've got to live again, for him and for me and for you.”

“Okay.”

She closed the distance between their lips once more and when they finally parted she awoke into reality, still buried in a pile of blankets in the bed they once shared. But she could still taste his lips on hers; feel the goose bumps that had risen in wake of where his arms had travelled on her skin, and finally the heat of where their hands had been intertwined over her womb where she knew their child grew.

Years would pass by and she found love in the smiling face of the bouncing boy with the mess of dark curls and mysterious green and gold flecked eyes. Their son grew and Max learned to smile and live life again. He heard endless stories of his father, felt the love of his mother and grew to be as beautiful as his parents. He knew of his history, but never did he endure the pain and hardship as the generation before him had, he knew his father’s sacrifice. He was happy and that was all that really mattered to Max for all of her life.

And one night a grey haired, wrinkled, but ever-elegant Max went to bed, the same bed she had been loved in, mourned in—but always found comfort in. She found herself in the familiar embrace of her lover once more; youthful and strong they held each other close revelling in the utter fulfilment of being with the other piece of their heart, this time for always.

23.9.07

a/n: It was a nice piece of fluff on my part. I hope you liked it. Reviews are always appreciated.

Dark Angel Fanfic - The Wedding

2007-12-10T07:59:37Z

a/n. Just re-posting all of my fics on my LJ. I've finally decided to put it to use. Nothing new, possibly a few minor stylistic changes. Reviews and comments are always welcome.

The Wedding

The spacious room, or so it had seemed when they finally settled on a location, was packed full of excited transgenics and humans alike. It was a big day for everyone, the talk of T.C. for months since it had been announced. The Wedding. While the atmosphere in the room seemed to be electric and everyone giddy with anticipation, Alec just couldn't help but feel a little sad and disappointed that the day had actually arrived without a hitch--not even from himself.

But who could blame him? He had to give her away! He was the one who had to walk her down that aisle and hand her off to someone else, when she was so clearly his. But Max had begged him to do it, "For me, Alec?" she had asked him, "It's tradition." And honestly, he couldn't say no to her, not about this.

So here he was, dressed to the nines, and even after all this time and years of war he still looked pretty damn good, if he thought so himself. But the peace had done him good. It had done them all good. People were living life, having kids, getting married. Even Alec who nobody thought could settle when the whole transgenic revolution began had found a way to relax his lifestyle, quite comfortably actually.

The wedding march stopped as they made it to the makeshift altar. Alec smiled his eyes sad, as he released her arm and moved into the seat in the first aisle reserved for him.

He tuned out the minister's voice as the ceremony began, his mind focusing on the memories he had shared with the dark-haired beauty standing at the front of the room. She really was breathtakingly beautiful, with her chocolate curls framing her face, contrasting the soft white glow of her wedding gown.

He was shocked when he saw her, before he led her down the aisle. He looked for her all day really, for a chance to...talk to her one last time, before it all happened, but he never got the chance--busy brides, you know. But it wasn't as if he would never see her again, he just wished he could have had a second alone, to tell her some things--that he would always be there for her, that he loved her no matter what, and that she would always have a place to call home with him.

He sighed heavily, returning to the present, looking at Max, with melancholy in his eyes. She smiled gently at him and squeezed tightly on his hand, as she stood next to him. She could see the emotions playing over his face, his Manticore mask having been retired years before, a little amused at his sentimentality. She whispered into his ear, "Our baby's all grown up, Alec," and she leaned into him as he planted a kiss into her hair. The dark-haired, green-eyed beauty before them, saying, "I do." Their baby girl.

4.6.07

Argh.

2007-12-10T06:52:23Z

Okay, so I'm in a real pissy-ass, fuckin' mood right now. I'm not really sure why. I ~~hate~~ am really frustrated with Supernatural. I hate Ruby--okay, mostly the actress sucks balls--and Bela who pisses the shit out of me. Excuse my vulgarity, I curse like a trucker when I'm in a temper.

Okay, maybe it's exam stress, lack of sleep and the writer's strike that's buggin' me, but argh, I am not in a good mood at all.

I don't want them on my show. I can understand having them in certain episodes to serve a certain purpose, but when they have to write them in for the sake of maintaining a quota, well, then I just get pissed. Ugh. Okay, and honestly, I'm not the kind of girl who automatically rejects an idea based on preconceived notions. I did that for Jo last season and I regretted it. It was unfair to the show and to the character, so I made a decision not to do that this year. I came in with an open mind about Ruby and Bela, and well, they've sucked. Big ass.

Ruby I can understand, but the actress is ass. She sucks. The character is kinda cool, a demon who was ready to follow Sam had Azazel's plan worked out helping hunters out? Cool. It's too bad the actress couldn't make an emotion appear on her face unless a blank stare is what they're going for.

Bela. Hmm. No idea why she's on the show. Not one clue. So she's supposed to help the boys out with her vast knowledge of the supernatural and her uncommon resources (broad and powerful client network)? Funny, I think we had a character kinda like this last season too. Ash, right? I mean he helped he boys out, he had resources he could tap into for them--like his genius level IQ and MIT education. So is Bela Ash reincarnated with boobs and an ass? Dude! Maybe Bela blew up the Roadhouse and inadvertantly killed her long-lost brother Ash! He was the relative she killed! hahaha. That would be too many kinds of awesome.

But anyways, I guess I'm in a bit of a better mood. I wrote this in parts, so that may be why this post is a bit bipolar. But I don't care to change it, so fuck you. Thanks.

P.S. Who the fuck is Steve Carlson? What is this a "Make friends with Jensen's friends" convention, where we pay them to appear for the sake of showing off my god damned stalker knowledge of you and your friends?

Clown - Original 1st Person Narrative

2007-12-08T05:15:11Z

Just a sudden urge to write something.

Clown

Clowns put on different faces. Happy faces, sad faces, funny faces. They hide behind a mask of makeup, dress in bright circus colours to attract your attention, then they let you get on with the rest of the show. People love clowns, though they never really know what goes on behind that mask. I guess I'm a clown too. I piece my mask together with foundation to cover the dark circles under my eyes, cheap lipstick that's too red, fake lashes, eyeshadow, and some blush to put some colour back into my pale skin. My skin used to be rosy with the biting cold, now I just stay blue. Some days I put on a wig, but my hilarious ensemble is only complete with the face that I put on: happy faces, eager faces, wanton faces, I can be the face of any girl you've ever wanted--just pick me. Don't be shy, I'll only ever look pleased once we've finished, no strings attached either. The perfect distraction before you go on with the rest of your life.

Exam Ghost? and Jessica Alba makes me upset.

2007-12-06T05:30:27Z

So it's exam time for me here at school. Everyone is a little stressed out, not very healthy and all. No one wants to be the Christmas Grad. I just finished writing my English exam, my first, so I'm glad I've got that out of the way. One down, three to go. Ugh. Ah well.

Anyways...there's something really freaky going on in my residence. I'm living in an all girls dorm, we're all really close, we all kinda leave our doors open and such so we're really comfortable with each other...and there's been this scream happening, and no one knows where it's coming from. It sounds like it's in my hallway, but I've never seen anyone come by. It's happened twice now, both around the same time. It's a really scary scream too. Not like some girls are running around chasing each other kind of scream, or a holy crap you surpised me scream; it's not even a rape scream--it's really short, but blood curdling, like an "I'm going to die" scream that gets cut off by a blunt object hitting them in the head or something. It's so eerie too because we're on 22hour quiet time for exams, so it's pretty much silent. I'm in a single room at the end of my hall, only one other girl was home, but she was sleeping when I checked on her so it's still a mystery as to the source. Kinda freaked out a little bit, but hey, what can ya do? It certainly makes things a lot more interesting.

...

Also, Jessica Alba is B-R-U-T-A-L. Just something I'd like to reiterate in light of her new movie. And I used to like her when she was on Dark Angel. I really wanted to like her movies too, but Honey just KILLED me! Ouch. Ever since, she has done nothing but reprise the same predictable role: the sexy love interest, which is both unintelligeable and uninspiring.

Concerning her white-washing efforts (re: Fantastic Four) with her blond hair, blue eyes and light skin, it's too bad she's so ashamed of herself and her heritage, but hey, if she's down with the whole mixing pot thing--to each his own I suppose. I mean I guess I understand what she's saying about playing it all down. She wasn't raised in a family where her Mexican heritage was really emphasized, so it's not exactly her fault; she doesn't speak Spanish; she was bullied as a kid on both ends, so yeah, I can understand her saying she wouldn't call herself a 'Latina' actress since she would consider such a declaration to be insincere. But none-the-less she shouldn't be alienating the Latino community either, it doesn't help the effort, yeah you're pretty, but your movies are shit. No matter what, she's got hispanic features and a hispanic last name; she shouldn't be ashamed, hell, it's what makes her so damn beautiful.

But yeah, all this stuff about her insisting she is a prude would be more believeable if she hadn't run her mouth off about being rather easy in real life. Does anyone else remember that interview? It was all about how she was totally down with one-night-stands, etc...yeah, she dropped a considerable number of points in my book after that. Haha, and the report that she has herpes? Nas-tay. Dirty Derek Jeter, c'mon, he's not even remotely attractive without that huge baseball contract backing him up. And then she had a thing with Mark Wahlberg, who then gave her a cameo in Entourage? Erm, not my thing. And I mean, while she refuses to do nudity and claims to be a prude, I mean she doesn't leave much to the imagination as it is. All of her roles pretty much push her to see how close to naked she can get: Sin City she was a stripper, Into the Blue she wore a bikini for 96% of the film, Good Luck Chuck's trailer shows her skirt being ripped off and her trying to get Dane Cooke into bed with her, now Awake previews show her in a tub w/ Hayden Christensen and in the bedroom with nothing but a sheet on her--yup, she's a classy girl. [sarcasm] I believe you Jessica Alba! [/sarcasm] Hell, I mean she was in Idle Hands with Devon Sawa aggges ago and she still played the same role--her clothes get ripped off again too, by the way.

Granted she is a beautiful girl; it's unfortunate that has merited her as much attention as she has received. There are many beautiful *and* talented people all over Hollywood--they just don't have her publicist. What the girl needs is someone to tell her what is a good script and what is not, because honestly, I can't think of one movie she has been in--where she has had a considerable role--that has been successful. And no, I'm not counting Sin City, because that movie was interesting on more levels than depended on her alone. All of the movies she features in are dull, predictable and simply unentertaining--and that's only going to slide for a while before people stop paying attention--I mean, unless she does a nude, and you know that's coming--five years, tops. Homegirl just can't act. Her voice is monotonous and the shitty scripts aren't helping to hide her weak acting chops. As one article descibed her efforts in Into the Blue, "Jessica Alba, who, with Paul Walker, was out-emoted by a coral reef in Into The Blue" hahaha, that just kills me!

What the most disappointing thing about her is that she used to be my favourite actress. I mean I LOVED Dark Angel, still do, but after hearing about all of those backstage antics, I've been super disappointed. The arrogance and the demands and all that shit: it really pissed me off. I mean it was a great show and she and the Starf*cker fiance as he was affectionately dubbed by some nuns may have ruined it. Okay, so she was 18 at the time, understandable that she was a little immature--but she was the star of the damn show, she needed to understand the consequences of her actions. SF, as I'll call him, was 32? or something and should've known better--what an asshole. He's still a huge douche-bag in my eyes, I can't watch anything he's in without getting physically sick and angry. Well, anyways...Other than that hot mess I've not nothing much else to say I guess.

Bah. If the girl wants my respect, she's got to Monster herself up, and pick a role that doesn't depend on her Teen-Hottie title to get the job. Yes, go for that pretentious art-house flick, as much as I hate those; do something that requires emotions, a nice character study perhaps? I dunno--Something!